When I was not rooted in the Lord, I found love, comfort, satisfaction, and worth in things and people that could never make me whole. I tried to take control of my life, pushing God to the side, but his love patiently pursued me. He remained constant and his arms were always opened wide to me, even when I rejected him again and again.
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I haven’t arrived, but I am pressing. Prayer, seeking the Lord at His Word, and surrounding myself in community have been the very things that continually remind me that the Lord is good. I have learned that even during the weak points of my life, it’s all for my good and His glory, that in the end I may “count it all joy!”
I'm still not where I want to be, but I'm no longer who I was. God found me and chose me at my worst. I asked Him to give me a purpose, and He gave me something far more valuable: He gave me a love for His word and His son Jesus. And through it, I see the world so differently now.
The Lord has truly taught me that just because you are broken doesn’t mean that you are beyond repair. The Lord is great at turning broken pieces into a masterpiece for His glory.
I’m still learning to believe that God is enough. That I am enough. And that my identity isn’t found in what I have or haven’t done, but in who He says that I am. I am grateful for true freedom, true forgiveness that keeps no record of wrong, and for a love that never stops pursuing me.
I've lived with severe depression for years and tried to take my life many times, but God wasn't done with me. Now, I use my story and my message to encourage others. If God wasn't done with me, he surely isn't done with you! Don't give up. Keep going. Keep pursuing God!
Life is hard but it’s also pretty amazing. When I’m going through the fire, when things are rough, I know who my God is and I know that I can trust him. During hard moments he so sweetly reminds me of Psalm 66:12:
“God will bring you through the fire”
I know God turned the ashes of my life into beauty to help others heal and return to the One who loved them first.
My journey was hard, but I find so much happiness in the fact that God set me apart and trusted me to be able to endure this life. I love people. I love Jesus. And I hope everyone I encounter feels that. As I continue to walk in this freedom, I’ve found rest in obedience to God. I don't have it all together and I won't pretend to; I don’t have to. Because grace doesn’t mean that you’ll always get it right, it means that you’ll never be so wrong that you can’t be used.