The Lord's love has been a constant theme in my life.
I didn't realize until this past year that growing up I've had this constant, yet subconscious, battle against criticism and abandonment. I think we all face these two things at one time or another, but for me it seems like they stemmed from a deeper, spiritual issue. Whether it was a spiritual chain that made its way through the generations of my family or a lie that I believed in, it was something that I dealt with. Having that revelation, it made so much sense as to why I so desperately longed to be reminded of His love for me over and over.
And He never once failed to remind me.
However, this criticism of self, this unattainable standard of perfection, only gave way to more criticism and shame; it told me I wasn't good enough when I failed, yet again. The abandonment I felt at times, the feelings of being unnoticed, unheard, and alone caused an insecure and people-pleasing mentality. Both led to walking in fear. Honestly, I still deal with these feelings to a degree everyday, yet His Love is victorious.
Can I just talk for a moment about how amazing His love truly is?
His love is so vast, so beautiful; I've been learning new aspects and evidences of it incessantly. Even in the midst of being diagnosed with a chronic condition known as, Complex Regional Pain Syndrome/RSD at the age of 17 (full healing testimony to grace my blog in the very near future), He was ever reminding me of His love for me. Every step of the way. I may not have seen it as much then as I do now, but His love was there. His love amazes me. There's nothing we could do to make Him love us more or less. He's loved us from the beginning; His love is everlasting and is not limited by time in any way.
He loves us just because. It's not contingent; it has simply been poured out on us. There's nothing for us to prove. The pressure's off. It's all a wondrous thing.
In light of this, I've come to believe that the opposite of fear isn't faith; it's love. Perfect love casts out all fear (1 John 4:18), including the fear of criticism and abandonment. Know that He loves you so. Because when you know how much you're loved, there is just no other feeling that compares and nothing that can stop you from pursuing that which Love has called you.
Words by: Katie Faith
Find more at her blog at www.thejourneyal.com