Finding My True Identity in Christ
Hi, my name is Kayla, I am 24 years old, married, and currently live in Dallas, Texas. I did not grow up in a Christian household, but in elementary school, I heard about God from a friend. Though I didn’t know much about him, I prayed every night all the way through high school. While I was consistent in prayer, I wasn’t rooted in truth and remained unsure of who I was so I sought attention from guys to make me feel beautiful.
My life changed the summer after I graduated college when I met a believer and she invited me to church with her. I readily accepted because I wanted to learn more about having deeper intimacy with God. I got plugged in with her Bible study group and met with them every week that summer. With each meeting, I grew closer to these ladies and God and my view of myself began to change.
One day in July, I got into a huge argument with boyfriend and cried out to God. I was at the end of my rope! Though I was “in love” with him, I no longer wanted to put up with the mistreatment in the relationship. I finally understood that I had flaunted my body to get attention from guys in order to fill the voids inside of me. But, sitting at home that warm summer day, I realized that I didn’t have to do that any longer; I was loved by someone so much greater!
That night, I prayed and accepted Christ as my savior and when I told the Bible study girls they all prayed over me and rejoiced with me. I broke up with my boyfriend and started pursuing God wholeheartedly. It was freeing to understand and accept that I was precious in the eyes of God and that he was all I needed in my life.
I thought I had mastered the art of finding my identity in Christ, but then I got married.
I love my husband and I truly believe the Lord has called us together but when we got married I started putting my identity in my marriage and my husband, allowing it to drift from being centered in Christ. This misplacement of my value caused much strife during our first couple years of marriage. I expected my husband to be perfect. And, when he wasn’t perfect, I thought I could change him and make him into all I thought he should be.
At the beginning of 2017, I realized that I had once again returned to the habit of filling the voids in my life with people or things. I repented and have since been asking God to renew my heart, mind, and spirit. I am still walking through this journey of renewal, self-love, and self-care and I believe the best is yet to come! I know, as I continue to put my trust him and my heart securely in his hands, that he will continue to blow my mind.
When I look back on my life, I am amazed at how much has changed in such a short period of time. I have freedom in knowing that I am God’s precious daughter and have been bought at a great price. I am certain that I am worthy of love and I don’t have to exploit myself to receive it. Before I knew my worth in Christ, I was pessimistic about life, sure that every bad thing meant that my entire life had to be in shambles. But now I am more optimistic because I know the Lord provides. When I encounter hard seasons I know they are to build my character and draw me closer to Him. I have learned that with each passed test comes a new harvest from the Lord.
Through this journey, I have come to realize that the Lord has called me to minister to young women, reminding them of their worth in God. I want to incorporate my passion for nutrition with my love for God to remind His precious daughters to take care of their bodies in a healthy way; no more binge eating, fad diets, comparison, and self-neglect. Instead, my goal is to encourage these girls to see themselves as their Heavenly Father sees them instead of conforming to what society says.
It’s freeing to know that we aren’t the sum total of our bodies, our cliques, our relationship statuses, or our accomplishments. Our identities aren’t based on any item we can acquire or person we can build a relationship with, our identities are rooted and grounded in Christ alone. And when the storms of life come we can whether them well because we know who we are and whose we are.
Do you want to share your story of restoration, healing, or discovering your identity?